


Bonding With Another Person

by TheStrange_One



Series: 12 Days of Christmas 2020 [6]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Little Mermaid Elements, M/M, Violence, hinted trafficking, mermaid, mermaid Mary Jane, mermaid Wade Wilson, mild danger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStrange_One/pseuds/TheStrange_One
Summary: A new version of Little Mermaid, starring these four characters.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: 12 Days of Christmas 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054064
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59





	Bonding With Another Person

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheKenwick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKenwick/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Bettas are just P(r)etty Assholes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22700533) by [DefendersofMCUniverse (GeekMom13)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekMom13/pseuds/DefendersofMCUniverse). 



> Yes, it's true. Norman Osborn is not always an obsessed abusive ass when I write him. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Peter paused, staring at the opulent gilt over the wood of the door. In both his, and the current owners of the house’s opinions, that gilt was nothing more than a tacky decoration. It’s sole purpose was to scream, “Look at me! The people who live here are _important_!”

He’d been living in this house for six years, ever since his parents died, and he still couldn't stand the gilt. Then again, he knew his best friend, who literally grew up in the house, talked about having workmen remove the gilt and replace it with something more tasteful. Of course, he only mentioned that while in his cups, but it was a lovely thought nonetheless.

Peter sighed and knocked on the door. “Come in,” said the commanding voice of the home’s owner. Peter obediently opened the door to reveal Duke Osborn, current head of the Osborn family. “Ah, Peter,” said the Duke, looking relieved as he fought his collar. “Please, come in.” The man glared at his mirror. “I realize,” he said grimly, “that the gossip will be all over the halls soon after the conversation is finished, but let’s at least make the servants work for it. Please close the door behind you.”

Peter obediently did so and strode into the room. “Let me help with that,” he said reaching up to smooth the yoke bib front down over the shirt, making sure not to let it catch on any of the buttons.

Duke Osborn scowled. “This wretched suit is _supposed_ to be easier to don,” he complained. “The whole purpose is to help those who have been forced to cut back due to the war.”

“Yes, Sir,” said Peter primly. He didn’t mention that Harry, still younger than his father, had taken to the new suits like a duck to water.

Duke Osborn turned his glare to Peter. “Do not take that tone with me,” the man growled. “You’re _family_ , Peter, not a servant, no matter what that prim and proper bitch of a housekeeper says.”

Peter felt a small smile take over his face. Nice to know that his “uncle” didn’t like the woman either. “Sorry,” he said. He didn’t explain that it was just easier to conform to the rules the servants kept pushing on him than to argue with them. None of them understood why their Duke took in the no-account orphan who was good at precisely nothing they thought was important.

Of course, Peter knew that his parents and the Duke had been fast childhood friends, in the way that only a minister’s child could be friends with a Duke. The only person who had been more devastated to learn of their death than the Duke had been Peter, their son. Still, “friendship” wasn’t something most of the servants understood. In their defense, they had been hired by the previous Duke and the current Duke was not going to put people out of their positions and homes simply because he didn’t agree with the way they thought.

“It’s fine,” said the Duke. He sighed and rubbed his head as Peter helped button the the three buttons over the yoke bib. The majority of the suit was dark brown and the pin stripes the same blue as the Duke’s eyes. “I should have taken more of an interest.”

Peter barely held back from a wince as he realized just how much worse the servants would have made his life it the Duke had made it clear that he considered the young orphan family. They already hated the fact that Harry treated Peter like an equal. “You were grieving,” Peter pointed out as gently as he could.

The Duke’s lips tightened in displeasure. “So were you,” he pointed out before he sighed. “And now I have a favor to ask.”

Peter perked up. Honestly, since he’d been adopted, he’d felt a little—lost, for lack of a better term. He simply wasn’t _needed_. Everything that Peter could do there was a servant that could do it better (and more condescendingly). The only thing Peter had going for him was his talent for natural history.

“His Majesty’s sending Harry to meet the colony of merpeople that have colonized the seas around the Capsicum Port,” the Duke continued. “I know you’re in a difficult place in your studies, and you’ve got that conference coming up. I’ll understand if you don’t want to go.”

Peter thought of Harry meeting merpeople unprepared and winced. It was entirely possible that he’d offend them greatly. It was also possible that he’d get killed. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Peter said firmly. “Of course I’ll go with Harry.” Unspoken between the two of them was the knowledge that Peter’s parents had been studying the mer before they died.

And that it was possible that the mer had killed them.

For the first time since Peter had entered the room, the Duke’s face relaxed. “Bless you,” he said fervently. “I’ve warned him, but Harry—”

“I know,” said Peter gently. Harry tended to act first, think second.

The Duke sighed and leaned heavily against the dressing table. “I’m afraid that His Majesty is trying to get Harry killed.”

Peter could well understand why he felt that way. Due to issues with Her Royal Majesty, the King’s consort, no child she bore could be in line for the throne. Or rather, no child she bore could take the throne before Harry did, unless the young man abdicated. None of which had been an issue—until she’d had a child.

Peter thought it was more likely that His Majesty was attempting to get Harry to see something besides the throne as important, in order to gently lead the younger man into abdicating. What better way to do that than to send him to meet the sexually active, highly attractive (to human eyes, anyway) merpeople? And if they killed him, eh, that solved the issue in its own right. And if he _married_ one of them then, well, _his_ children would not be in line for the throne, His Majesty’s _grandchildren_ would be.

Not for the first time, Peter thought that the inheritance laws in his country were unnecessarily complicated.

“I will do everything I can to keep an eye out for Harry,” Peter promised.

The Duke smiled. “I know you will.” The man reached out and grabbed the skimmer hat that matched his suit. He looked at the suit and the hat in his hands. “I fear I look like idiotic,” he muttered.

“You do not,” Peter said firmly. “You look like a thriving specimen of manhood. Who knows? Perhaps, after tonight’s event, you may start courting a new Duchess.”

The Duke shuddered. “God forbid,” the man said fervently. He turned his sharp gaze to Peter. “You be safe too,” he ordered. He clasped Peter on the shoulder. “You are just as important as Harry is, and don’t let anyone tell you different.”

Peter smiled, but didn’t speak. He knew that the Duke believed what he was saying. He knew that Harry believed it.

He also knew it wasn’t true.

“The first thing the first mer you meet will do will be to attempt to seduce you, drown you, or both,” Peter lectured.

“Uh-huh.” Harry gazed out the window of the lightly rocking train.

Peter lightly smacked the arm of his chair. “Harry, are you listening? This is _important_.”

Harry rolled his eyes before turning his head slightly to look at his childhood friend. “Not really,” he said. "The whole purpose of this trip is to see if we can strike a permanent truce with the mer. We can’t.” Before Peter could react to the statement, the young man continued. “No matter how hard we try, how much we try, we’re not going to be able to stop the black market in mer. It doesn’t matter how many pirates we capture, how many smugglers we hang, how stiff the penalties for dealing with slaughtered mer are, humans are still going to hunt mer. They’re not going to be able to trust us.” Harry snorted before looking out the window again. “ _I_ wouldn't be able to trust us,” he muttered.

“I think you’re not giving the mer enough credit,” Peter said.

Of course, Peter _could_ say that. He had spent his early childhood, before his parents’ deaths, with them as they learned about the mer. As they studied mer culture and shared their own. He’d been there when Colossus, a huge silver mer, had tried to teach him the differences between an official navy ship and a hunting ship through the water. (A difference that Peter, being human, couldn't tell.)

“Look, whether you believe the mer are capable of understanding the difference or not, the core of the matter is that inattention could very well get you killed,” Peter said firmly.

“Like your parents?” demanded Harry coldly.

Peter sighed and rubbed his head. “We don’t know,” he said firmly, “that the mer killed my parents. And if a mer did,” Peter added, because it _was_ plausible that one had killed his parents, “that doesn’t mean the mer that killed my parents is associated with the pod colonizing the waters now. There are just as many mer factions as there are human ones.”

Harry didn’t look like he believed Peter, but at least he was finally paying attention. “All right,” he said reluctantly. “Please, tell me more.”

Wade Wilson, merctopus extraordinaire, drifted aimlessly in the current while his current group of clients were talking. “Are you paying attention?” demanded the gold, white, and red mer with the blue glowing light in his chest.

Wade yawned. “People from human kingdom. Don’t kill people from the human kingdom, don’t let mer kill the people from the human kingdom, yadda yadda yadda, you’re going to be bored.” Wade waved a lazy hand.

The red, white, and blue mer nodded. “That’s essentially it,” he said slowly. That mer said everything slowly, as though taking the time to make sure that his words weren’t going to offend anyone.

Offending people was not something that concerned Wade.

“Yeah, yeah, bor _ing_ ,” complained Wade as he let one of his tentacles drift.

“You’re being well paid for it,” growled first mer.

Wade supposed that he probably was. After all, he wasn’t just being paid with the pretty scales of the two top mer of the pod, oh no. They had actually, somehow, gotten him _human_ money. He could buy real human goods (they always had the better weapons).

Wade watched his tentacles idly. The way the currents in the small cove cave were moving it almost looked like two of them were talking to each other. He made up a conversation for them in his head.

“Look at these jerks!” Tentacle One said.

“I know! They call us down here, and then insult us!” replied Tentacle Two.

“We get the picture,” said the gold, white, and red mer darkly.

Oops. Maybe he’d said it out loud instead of just in his head. Eh, didn’t matter.

The gold, white, and red mer turned to the other pod leader and said, “Are you sure this is a good idea? After what happened to the last ambassadors, we can’t afford to let anything happen to this one.” The mer turned a suspicious eye to Wade. “Did _you_ have anything to do with that?” he demanded.

“Not unless they were chopping up baby mer,” replied Wade easily. Both the other mer in the cave flinched.

Yeah. Wade understood. No one like to think of the humans that would hunt the mer down, chop them into little pieces, and then sell them to other humans. Or worse; the humans that would track down the nesting waters and steal the eggs and tadpoles for the same purpose. Still, someone had to get their tentacles dirty to steal back (or avenge) the fallen mer, and most often Wade was that mer. Hell, half the time he didn’t even ask for a fee first, not if the target was a human.

“I have faith in you,” said the red, white, and blue mer.

Aw. That twisted the inner heartstrings, that did. Meant nothing though.

The other leader snorted. “I expect you to earn your pay,” the red, gold, and white mer said firmly. “You’ll be working with a group that’s been chosen to meet the ambassadors.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Wade lazily. The second pod leader glared at him. “If that’s all?” he asked.

“That’s. All.” The words were ground out through clenched teeth. Wade nodded and quickly pushed his lower body together to shoot out of the small cave and into the sun warmed cove.

Peter kept his eyes sharp as the two of them made their way across the Observation Docks—docks that had been built with the sole purpose of interacting with the mer. Part of Peter approved of the way the locals had created a mixed school for the mer and human children. It was good for them to learn about each other, after all, and maybe they’d grow up without the prejudices that riddled society. The rest of of Peter was worried; not only were there pirates who had no trouble hunting young mer, but there were extremists who would have no problem destroying the school with both mer and humans in it.

Not his problem. He had to believe that the local Baron had an eye on the problem and could handle anything that came up. _His_ job was to make sure that Harry didn’t die.

When they reached the end of the dock they were greeted by a group of mer. One of them was a mer with startling red hair and emerald green scales, and actual human bits. Peter wondered if she had human in her direct ancestry; most mer had full body scales and merely a human-shaped torso.

The only reason she got more of his attention than the others was because of how she chose to speak to Harry. “Welcome,” she said warmly, tones of the sea inflecting her voice. She chuckled low as she smiled, revealing the sharp teeth that all mer seemed to have. “Such a brave, strong ambassador,” she crooned, still in those tones.

One of the mer, a darkly mottled mer that had the lower parts of an octopus instead of a fish tail, stirred uncertainly as Peter’s hand shot out and grabbed Harry by his suit jacket. “A pleasure to meet you,” Peter said amiably as he kept Harry from following the melodious voice off the edge of the dock. The mer giggled as she watched them, her eyes (a vibrant green that matched her tail) following them as her tail moved lazily in the water.

She giggled again. “A pleasure to meet you as well,” she said, voice still ringing with tones of the sea.

Peter knew that voice was more than capable of luring humans into the water, heedless of their need to breathe air. However, that voice also had a fatal weakness; it could only be used on a given human once. If a human was able to shake off the mesmerizing effect of the voice once, it would never have hold of them again.

“Thank you for taking the time to come and meet with us,” Peter continued the social niceties while Harry worked on recovering from the vocal stun. The mermaid giggled again.

“You’re not like the others,” she said, her voice in the normal tones.

Peter could have explained that he was the son of the last two people sent to learn about the mer—but he wasn’t sure how they would take it and he didn’t want them to get wary of him. He didn’t want to put Harry in danger, after all. Or jeopardize the mission. “It is a gracious and wonderful thing that you came to the meeting.”

The mer with the octopus bottom half barked harsh laughter. “Give it up, Princess,” the mer said teasingly. “He’s not going to tell you anything he doesn’t want you to know, no matter how much you ask.” The mer winked at Peter who felt a flush crawl over his skin. “Isn’t that right, Precious?” he crooned.

Harry shook himself, ridding himself of the last of the sea voice before he bowed. “I am Harold von Osborn,” he said elegantly. He grinned at the mermaid, seemingly unable to see any of the other three mer in the water. “You can call me Harry, if you like,” he added.

Peter knew the signs. Harry was in love. There wasn’t a day where the young man wasn’t down by the dock, dangling his legs in the warm water heedless of the damage his suits were taking from the salt water. He talked of nothing outside of the meetings than the warm gaze of Mary Jane, the mer ambassador. He was actually taking the time to _learn_ what Peter had tried to teach him of the mer.

From what Peter could tell of the telegraph messages, the Duke was pleased with their progress. (Actually, he seemed more pleased that Harry was no longer in danger of being killed by the mer.) He approved of the potential relationship between Harry and the mer known as Mary Jane to the point where he asked if he needed to relocate near the sea in order to see his grandchildren. Peter—wasn’t sure. It was _possible_ that any children resulting from the union would take after their mother enough to where they couldn't leave the ocean—but it was equally likely for them to take after Harry enough that they couldn't go too deep into the water. And there was a third (less likely) possibility of them being able to traverse both land and sea with few issues.

“Hey, Pete!” said Harry suddenly as they passed through the market. He pointed to a pair of enameled hair combs. “Do you think she’d like these?”

The hair combs _were_ gorgeous. They showed a wavy, iridescent kelp that gave it the look of kelp waving under the sea in bright sunshine. Peter could easily see why Harry thought they’d make a nice gift for the mer he was courting.

However. Mer didn’t wear things in their hair. Under the water it was far too likely for something in their hair to get caught on a rock or something and hurt them. Although, they did have combs that they used to untangle their hair periodically.

Peter didn’t get a chance to respond before the seller said, “Of course she will! Look at these beauties! Why, they’d make any woman’s heart flutter.”

Harry grinned and purchased the combs before the two of them head to the dock. “I hope she likes them,” Harry said.

Peter couldn't help but smile at he oldest friend’s attitude. “Don’t forget to tell her that they’re gifts,” he warned. “She won’t know otherwise.”

Harry stopped walking and the market crowd parted around the two well dressed young men. “You probably think that I’m an idiot,” he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“I think you’re in love,” Peter said. “And I think she feels the same way.”

“Yeah?” Harry grinned at him. Harry nudged Peter’s side before they continued walking again. “Don’t think I’ve missed the way _you’ve_ been making eyes at that octo-mer,” Harry said.

“Merctopus,” Peter corrected as a blush formed in his cheeks.

“Eh? Eh? And how’s that going?”

“I—don’t know,” Peter admitted. “He’s flirty—but he seems to flirt equally with everyone.”

Harry sobered and put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “You’ll figure it out Pete. Maybe all you need is to take a little swim with him. See if those tentacles are more than bragging.”

“You are exceptionally crude,” Peter said primly.

“One of us has to be. Don’t worry too much about straying,” Harry added as the dock came into view. “We’ll be fine. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Wade looked at the deep, purple potion suspiciously before looking at the magic mer. “And—you’re just—giving this to me. Out of the goodness of your heart.” He couldn't help but be suspicious. People just didn’t give him things. Well, unless it was weapon tips that they were trying to use to kill him.

The magic mer sighed and drifted over to one of the shelves on the cave walls. “Once upon a time,” the mer said wearily, “two humans came to my door to request the ability to breathe underwater for themselves and their child. They wanted their child to grow knowing the mer, feeling like one of the mer, and hoped the child would one day be the bridge that took the mer and humans away from each other’s throats.”

“Yeah,” said Wade suspiciously. “The ambassadors that got killed.”

“Their son survived,” said the magic mer. “And now we have two new ambassadors. One of them is entranced by our very own Mary Jane.” The magic mer looked at Wade. “One of them is interested in you.”

“You say interested,” said Wade.

The magic mer snorted and a stream of bubbles expelled from his nose. “That child is incapable of being entranced,” he said. “But—I do owe a debt. This,” the magic mer said as he gestured to the potion in Wade’s hands, “is me paying that debt.”

“I don’t see how giving _me_ a potion pays your debt to _him_ ,” Wade muttered.

“You don’t have to,” said the magic mer. He waved a hand and a lazily glittering gold circle appeared in the water. “And now, you have other places to be.”

Before Wade could react the circle passed through him—and he was in the middle of the protected cove, right next to Mary Jane. Her other escort mer, Gwen, didn’t appear to be there. “Well, that was rude,” muttered Wade.

“What are you doing here?” demanded Mary Jane. “This is supposed to be a _private_ visit!” She hissed, showing her sharp teeth as her hands curved into claws.

Wade waved a hand as nonthreatening he could be. “Whoa there! The magic mer sent me here!”

Mary Jane calmed down a bit. “The wizard?” she asked with narrow eyes. “Why?”

“He thinks I can claim the other human.”

An amused smile broke through her lips. “You?” She flashed her tail flirtatiously. “Perhaps if he could be entranced, but that one is immune to the song. You have nothing with which to entrance him.”

Which—true. Wade was not pretty as mer defined it. He was not pretty as humans defined it. But, he was able to make the young man laugh. And blush. And the young man didn’t seem to hate talking to Wade. He talked about the wonders of the land, and Wade talked about the mer and humans he’d killed. And they—well, the young man wasn’t entranced. And he seemed to have a duty to escort the other human. And maybe Wade was just someone there to talk to.

It didn’t matter. Wade was being paid to make sure that neither human died. Their emotions didn’t matter to him.

_Peter’s_ emotions shouldn't matter to him.

He followed the laughing female mer to the surface. The two humans were already waiting on the human-rock. Mary Jane surfaced and planted herself on the human-rock next to the entranced human. “Hello again,” she purred as she brushed some hair out of her face (not incidentally, also showing her bosom).

It was clear the young human was smitten with her by the loopy smile on his face. “Hello, Mary Jane,” he said. “I brought you a gift.” The young man held out two odd, shiny things.

“A—a gift?” faltered the mer next to him.

Yeah, Wade didn’t blame her. There was no way for Harry, as a human, to know the weight that a gift—freely given with no thought of recompense—would place on a mer. She reached out, tentatively, to touch the items with a clawed hand.

The other human smiled as he watched them before turning to Wade. “Is the day treating you well?” he asked.

Wade snorted. “The day is treating me _strange_ ,” he complained as he swam over to the side of the human-rock that Peter was on.

“Oh?” Peter sat on the human-rock so that Wade could speak to him with ease. However, unlike the other human, Peter’s legs never dropped into the water. He was never truly vulnerable. A smile split the human’s face. “Want to tell me about it?”

Which—yeah. Good idea, especially if Wade was right and the human that couldn't be enchanted was supposed to be looking after the other human. Still made his chest ache in a not-fun way.

“Oh, man! So, I got the call to seek out the magic mer, and he’s all, ‘I have something for you,’ and I’m all, ‘I’m not that kind of mer’.” Wade paused for a moment, tentacles waving in the in the light current as he gripped the human-rock. “Actually, I _could_ be that kind of mer,” he said thoughtfully. “But, you know, mer get sick at the thought of touching me.”

“Why?”

Wade looked up, but there was only curiosity in the young human’s gaze. He gestured to himself quickly. “Mer don’t like the textured skin,” he said quickly. He was pretty sure that most humans didn’t either.

Peter reached down, and hesitated. “May I?” he asked politely.

Wade wasn’t sure if ti was a good idea. After all, he liked talking with the human—what if he left and never came back? Or worse, what if he couldn't look at Wade anymore without disgust? Was it worth the risk?

“Eh, sure,” said Wade warily. “Why not?” He reached up with a hand.

Peter took the hand in one of his own and gently ran a finger down the whorls and ridges that made up Wade’s skin. Wade watched, ready to snatch his hand back at the first sign of disgust.

It never came. “I think it feels nice,” Peter offered as his other hand came up to continue touching Wade’s skin. “So, what did the magic mer want with you?” he asked.

And that was another thing. Most people stopped listening to whatever Wade was saying by the third or fourth word, but Peter always listened. “Well, he wanted to give me a potion that could give me legs. Only on land though; he was very clear that his potion works as long as I’m out of the water and no longer.”

Peter nodded and took a look at the mer and human sitting on the edge of the human-rock. He looked back at Wade. “You told me you got paid in human currency for one of your jobs, right? Would you like to take the potion and go look at some human made weaponry?”

Wade was shocked by the offer—and intrigued. “You sure it’s a good idea to leave them?” he asked with a gesture towards the happy couple. He followed Peter’s gaze as the young man turned to look and saw the entranced human pin some of Mary Jane’s hair back with one of the presents he got her.

“It’ll be fine,” Peter said. “If anything, they could desperately use the privacy we’re about to give them.

“Mer don’t mind being seen, Peter,” said Wade doing his best, with his damaged vocal chords, to caress the human’s name.

Peter’s face turned slightly pink before he looked away with a cough. “Well, humans do,” he said firmly. “You want to?”

There weren’t enough words to say how much Wade _wanted_ to. The ability to stroll around with Peter, looking at human things? And better—getting good weapons? Perfect! Wade took his hand back from Peter, pulled the potion out of one of his pouches, and downed it.

The transformation was quick and painful. It felt like his entire body was being sculpted like the way that human tadpoles sculpted wet sand on the beach. He hauled himself out of the water and looked down. Huh. That was odd; he hadn’t been aware of it before, but humans had important bits hanging out. Like—why? That didn’t make sense.

“You’re huge!” blurted Peter. The young man then looked away.

Confused Wade looked at the part between his legs. It was nowhere near as long as his tentacle. He turned back to Peter—and was shocked to see _lust_ on the human’s face. He leered at the human. “See something you like, Petey?”

“Yeah,” said Peter.

Wade stared in shock. He hadn’t expected the young man to admit it! “Yeah?” he asked timidly.

Peter smiled at him. “Yeah,” he confirmed. “Come on,” he said standing up and holding out a hand to Wade. “Let’s get your weapons.”

“Let’s.”

The human market looked nothing like the mer market. Mer always kept a certain distance between them, never brushing up against each other (unless mating), because that way they could make an easy escape. Humans—didn’t seem to care. It was wonderful. And most of them didn’t even look twice at Wade!

And they all seemed to know Peter. “Finally off your leash, Parker?” one of the sellers called. Peter just laughed as they made their way through the market.

“Now,” Peter said, “these people aren’t from this kingdom, but they make excellent blades.”

“You think?” Wade asked. He thought back to his last fight with pirates. “What about that thing, that small thing kind of like a cannon?”

“A gun?” When Wade nodded Peter continued. “Guns can’t work if they get wet. What kind of weapon do you usually use?”

“Sharpened whale ribs.” A human brushed by exceptionally close to Peter and the human easily stepped out of the way, hands in his pockets.

Odd. Peter’s hands weren’t in his pockets before. Why were they now?

Another human brushed too close to Wade—and Wade felt a tugging on one of his pouches. He whirled and grabbed the human by the arm. “What are you doing?” he demanded.

The human paled. Did holding humans up by their arms make the blood rush away from their heads? Or was the human frightened by being hauled up to the face of a monster? Wade wasn’t sure.

“Haven’t you learned not to pick pockets by now?” Peter asked the human. “Especially of the people walking with me. I distinctly remember Harry putting his gun in your face telling you all the perks of his current model.”

“S—sorry,” the human stammered. “I—I didn’t recognize you, Mr. Parker.” Wade put the human down and he ran off.

“Harry has a gun?” Wade asked, slightly scandalized.

“Harry doesn’t spend half of his life in the ocean yet,” Peter said. “You want something a little more durable.” Peter seemed to think about it for a moment. “Come to think of it, _he’s_ going to want something a little more durable.” The two of them continued on their way.

The destination was a tent erected over a forge. A dry forge? How? Wade got closer to investigate—only to be yanked back by Peter from the scorching heat. An old human, covered in lines and wrinkles that would have gotten him exiled from a mer pod, shook his head. “That’s dangerous boy,” the old human said.

Peter gave a light bob towards the man. “Master Takanashi,” he said. “This is my friend, Wade. He’s a mer, and he was looking for a sword.”

The old man spat on the ground. “A mer, eh?” he asked squinting at Wade. “I have just the thing.” He reached into a box and pulled out a long, thin sword, about the same shape as a sharpened whale rib. He also pulled out some kind of bundle. It looked kind of like a bundle of kelp, if kelp was hard. And pokey. Wade looked at it, trying to figure out what it was for.

“It’s a straw bale so you can test how the blade swings and hits,” Peter explained.

Oh! Well, that was awesome! He’d never been able to test his whale ribs. “All right,” said Wade about to take a swing.

“Not like that!” scolded the old human. “You place your hands _here_ and _here_ , and then swing, like so! Well done!” the old man cheered as the sword cut halfway through the straw bale.

Wade stared at the damage done before poking the straw. It was so awesome! “I’ll take it!” he said eagerly. “Do you have another? I’d like two!”

The old man nodded and stroked his facial hair (why did humans have hair on their faces?). “Good. You also want the scabbards too.”

Soon Wade and Peter were heading back to the human-rock and Wade had not one, but _two_ swords, in “scabbards” slung across his back. “This is awesome! Thank you, Petey!”

Peter rubbed the back of his neck which, like his face, had tinted a nice pink. “Well, you said you like weapons,” he said, “so I thought you’d like this. Better than a gift, anyway.”

This time it was Wade’s turn to come to a complete stop as he stared at Peter. “You know about gift obligation,” he said with wonder. Peter _knew_ , unlike his companion, about gift obligation, but didn’t use it against Wade. Instead, he opted to spend _time_ with Wade, which was—precious. And unheard of. _No one_ wanted to spend time with Wade.

“Well, yes,” admitted Peter looking—shamed? “I spent most of my childhood with mer. My parents were ambassadors.”

Peter was the _child_ of the two previous ambassadors that had been killed. The very reason that Wade had been hired to protect him and his friend. That explained why he knew so much about mer.

Wait. “You didn’t tell—your buddy,” he said as he tried (and failed) to remember the other human’s name.

Peter sighed. “Harry is in love,” he explained. “And maybe a little entranced still. But I honestly think that Mary Jane would make a good Queen, and it’s not like it’s unheard of to take a non-human spouse.”

Peter _knew_ that by giving Mary Jane a gift, Harry would be binding him to her. And didn’t tell Harry that, because he thought they’d make a good couple, and that Mary Jane would make a good queen. Wade grinned; his human had hidden depths.

And was clearly not against non-human relationships.

The two of them continued on. “Well, that’s kind of awesome.” Wade looked down at his feet and scowled.

“What’s wrong?” Peter asked, clearly interested and not feigning interest. (Not that most people around Wade felt the need to even do that much.)

“I don’t have scales,” he muttered.

He knew that Peter knew, if his parents were the previous ambassadors, that mer exchanged scales to signify bonds between them. The more color two mer had in common, the stronger the bond between them. It had never bothered Wade _before_ that he didn’t have scales—he’d never found anyone he wanted to exchange with.

But if it meant he could stay with Peter…

Peter knocked an elbow into him and Wade looked up to see the human was grinning. “The nice thing about humans,” Peter said with a grin, “is that we exchange rings instead.”

Was—was Peter suggesting what Wade _thought_ he was suggesting? Would the human be willing to form a bond with him? That would be _amazing_!

Wade saw the exact moment Peter’s face fell. “Oh, shit!” the human swore.

What? Wade turned to see—the human-rock had been broken, there was timber and a little bit of blood—human from the smell—on what was left of the human-rock. Wade growled. “Pirates.”

Turned out that Wade knew a lot about pirates, including how to track them on land. Peter wasn’t certain why Wade knew that since, as far as he knew, Wade had never left the sea before, but he wasn’t going to question it. Not when it meant they had a chance of getting to Harry and Mary Jane before they were killed.

Pirates were not kind towards mermaids.

As they made their way over the sea-slippery rocks Peter prayed to every deity he knew that Harry would not be so stupid as to tell the pirates he was next in line for the throne. If he did—if he did he would either be taken for ransom or killed, depending on how greedy/hungry for revenge the pirates were.

The crown was not kind towards pirates.

Finally they made it to a protected cove that held a ship. “What’s the plan?” Wade asked.

Peter pulled out his pistol and checked to make sure that it was loaded, ignoring the look on Wade’s face. Usually he only kept the gun for intimidation, if he needed to stop something criminal from happening. But if he was going to save Harry and Mary Jane, he needed to be willing to deal with the pirates with full force.

“The plan,” Peter said grimly, “is to rescue Harry and Mary Jane and any other mer they may happen to have on the ship.”

Wade grinned showing that his teeth were still the super sharp teeth of the mer. “Sounds like a good plan,” he approved. “I’m going to go in first though. You focus on rescue.”

Peter didn’t want to—he was really fond of Wade and hoping the mer would take his hints about how humans bonded to ask Peter to bond with him—but he knew that, strategically, it was the best use of resources. He hadn’t known that Wade was paying attention when he mentioned a brief fling with a thief who taught him how to pick all locks or the pack of lock picks that he’d gotten as a present before she moved on to another city before being caught by the Watch, but it gave Peter the best chance of getting the two captives out.

Besides, Wade had a lot more experience in dealing with Pirates, and they both knew it.

“Let’s go,” said Peter. Wade nodded and Peter followed him.

The advantages of being in a small cove like this, barely big enough for the ship, was that it was protected from being seen by any passing ships—like, for example, the navy patrols.

The disadvantages were that it was easy (relatively) for anyone to climb the cliffs and drop onto the crow’s nest of the ship. Like, for example, the two of them.

There wasn’t even a lookout in the crow’s nest (then again, why would there be when the ship was anchored in a cove?) and the two made their way, unimpeded, towards the deck of the ship. Wade made it to the deck first and several drunk pirates attacked him—ignoring the two swords.

“Woo!” cried Wade as his new blades sliced into the humans around him. “These are _perfect_! Yeah, I’m coming for _you_ shifty!”

Peter’s first impulse was to back Wade up—but he stopped himself. Getting Harry and Mary Jane out of the ship, where they had a chance to escape, was paramount. He mentally apologized to Wade and made his way down into the bowels of the ship, hiding behind masts, canons, and cargo to avoid the notice of as many pirates as possible. He came to a section of the bowels where Mary Jane, recognizable by her bright red hair and emerald green tail, was stretched across a table with her hands pinned above her head and a chain holding her tail in place.

Before either of the pirates could react to his presence, Peter shot them. He aimed to disable, not to kill, but he had to shoot them. And if he accidentally shot them fatally—well, he’d have to come to terms with that.

Later. First thing he did was pull out his lock picks and get Mary Jane out of the shackles before he found Harry. The poor man had been beaten pretty badly; his face was swollen and bruised. Despite that, once he was free, the first thing he did was run (shamble) over to Mary Jane and cup her cheek with one hand. “Are you okay?” he asked. She clutched him and began to cry.

Peter, meanwhile, had noticed a port hole. He went over and opened the window and saw, with satisfaction, that it was big enough for both Mary Jane and Harry to fit through it. “Come on,” he said, “you can get out this way.”

“No,” said Harry, surprising him. “We’ve got to save the baby mer.”

“What?” Peter followed Harry deeper into the ship—to find several crates of terrified looking baby mer. “You’re right. Let me think.” Were they strong enough to survive the drop into the water? He knew that Mary Jane was, but were the babies?

And how long could Wade keep the other pirates busy? Sure he was strong (and violent), but he was only one mer. There was only so much that they could do—wait.

Why was Peter assuming that the only people who could help out were him and Wade? Mary Jane was an adult mer, and would know how fragile baby mer were better than anyone. And Harry was a grown man, and in line for the throne. It was high time he started taking action to protect his people.

“I have an idea,” he said as he grabbed one of the boxes. “Grab one and come with me,” he ordered. They went back to where Mary Jane was still sitting, fidgeting with her tail until they came out. Her eyes went wide when she saw the boxes. “Okay,” he said when he had both Harry and Mary Jane in the room. “Mary Jane, I’m going to help you out the port hole. Harry is going to then toss the baby mer—one at a time, and give her time to put one down before you grab the next one—to you. I’m going to bring up the last box of baby mer, and then I’m going to help Wade stop the pirates.”

Harry gripped Peter’s shoulder and looked at him. Both of them knew that Peter abhorred taking lives. They also knew that anything less than lethal might mean that none of them made it out alive.

“Let’s get started,” Harry said, letting Peter go and scooping Mary Jane up. “You first,” he said. He took her over to the port hole, and hesitated. “I love you,” he confessed. “And I hope you don’t love me as much as I love you, because if something goes wrong—if the worst happens—I want you take the baby mer and get them somewhere safe.” He kissed her cheek and gently guided her, tail first, out the port hole.

Peter didn’t wait for the tell-tale splash of her hitting the water before he went to get the last box of baby mer. By the time he got it where Harry was, the first box was half empty and the mer inside it were clamoring—quietly, so as not to draw extra attention to themselves—to be the next tossed out.

Peter gently set his box down and made his way back to the deck. Wade was swarmed and, for a moment, Peter feared the worst. Then he heard a familiar, almost unhinged laugh and a tense part of himself relaxed. For the moment, Wade was all right. He could use backup though.

Peter began shooting into the pirates. They were so focused on Wade they never noticed they were under attack from another source. Too soon though, he was out of bullets. He needed another weapon. His gaze darted around frantically—and then he saw it. Rope.

He grabbed it and waded into the fight lashing, punching, and knocking people out. After both too long and a short amount of time the only people left standing on the deck were Wade and Peter, both of them breathing heavily. “The couple?” Wade gasped.

Peter used his sleeve, absently noting that there was no way he was ever going to get the blood out of his suit, to wipe sweat out of his eyes. “Safe,” he said. Well, they were _now_. “And the baby mer, too.”

Wade nodded and dropped one of his swords as he reached out for Peter. Peter went to him and Wade hugged him tightly. “You,” the mer said thickly, “are _amazing_. Will you bond with me?”

Peter smiled. “Yeah,” he said.

A shot rang out. Wade slumped over him and Peter saw, past Wade a pirate that they’d thought was dead or knocked out, with a smoking pistol pointing at them.

Water washed over Wade and his tentacles, moving them gently. He was vaguely aware of an odd sound. Both rhythmic and irregular, with little gasps. Little drops of water were hitting his face.

He opened his eyes to look up—and saw Peter, curled over him, crying. The tears were the drops of water that were hitting Wade. “Pe—ter?” he asked.

Peter’s eyes opened and he looked at Wade as the tears fell harder. “Wade!” The human clutched the mer close. “You’re alive! I know you told me that as long as you’re you it’s impossible for you to die, but you weren’t healing! I thought it might have been because of the potion you took to walk on land, and got you to the water, but you weren’t healing and I thought—I thought!” Peter broke down sobbing.

Wade reached up and gently cupped Peter’s cheek. “Hey,” he said. “It’s okay.” He looked around and realized that Peter—Peter who had never let his body touch the water at the same time as he saw Wade—was _sitting_ _in the ocean_ , Wade on his lap as the waves rolled over the two of them in a gentle, soothing manner. “Do you still want to bond with me?” asked Wade. Peter grinned through his tears and kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> No, I didn't miss anything. Wade really did all of that without pants. And no one batted an eye, because they were at the docks and there are countries that use the docks with no nudity taboos.


End file.
